Driving School
by LunaCross
Summary: Our beloved pilots risk life and limb to own what every teenager wants... A LISCENCE TO KILL... er DRIVE!!!
1. Default Chapter

Driving School  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, ::floods of tears:: WAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! But I DO own are.... MY UNDERWEAR!!! ^_^  
  
I think that mobile suit pilots should be able to drive... am I right? ::crickets:: oh...  
  
  
Instructer: Now, ease into the tur- *SCREECH!* *CRASH* Ack! @_@  
  
Quatre: *gasp* Oh I'm so sorry Mr. Driving Instructer-sama, gomen ne, please forgive me!! ::clasps his hands in front of him as if in a prayer::   
  
Instructer: uhh, don't worry Quatre, hopefully there isn't a lot of damage to the car.  
  
Quatre: Oh no! What if I really hurt the car? Oh I'd feel soooo terrible! Gomen ne, car-sama!  
  
Instructer: -_-" Now, put the car in reverse slowly, stop, put it in first, good, now turn and keep going.  
  
Quatre: Okay, I'll do better, I promise. Just as long as nothing scares- AAH! ::screeches to a stop suddenly::  
  
Instructer: o.O  
  
Quatre: I didn't want to hurt the bird.  
  
Instructer: The bird can fly away!!  
  
Quatre: But it wasn't flying away! It was just sitting there eating bird seed! ::whispers:: gomen ne.  
  
Instructer: You don't need to apologize to the bird, it can't hear you!  
  
Quatre: But it can feel my sorry spirit.  
  
Instructer: Just keep driving! Please!!   
  
Quatre: Okay Instructer-sama, do you have a name? *gasps* Oh, gomen ne, that's right, Sailor Christmas-chan is to lazy to think of one.  
  
(Sailor Christmas: EY!! I resent that!! One more comment like that and I will write a romance fic with you and Dorothy!!!)  
  
Quatre: O_O" eep! Okay, I'll keep driving. ::taps on the gas::   
  
Instructer: Now, just drive to that wall over there and we are finish.  
  
Quatre: Okay, easy enough. ::puts the car in first and continues what he's been doing, stop, go, stop, go, stop, go stop, go, stop, turn on blinker, turn, stop::  
  
Instructer: ::while being jolted:: Now, just slowly turn a bit and stop at the line.  
  
Quatre: Okay. ::stops a little past the line:: OH NO! Do I get points taken off for that?  
  
Instructer: No, it's fine, just get out of the car!  
  
Quatre: So, when do I get my lisence? Oh, do I sound too pushy because if being too pushy takes away more points I greatly apologize for that, ::clasps his hands again:: Arigatou Mr. Driving Instructer-sama, Ja ne! ^_^ ::waves and steps out of the car:: Oh Allah, please let me pass this test. ::sighs and walks to the small DMV building:: Heero, it's your turn.  
  
Heero: Hn. ::stands up and walks outside::  
  
Instructer: Now Heero, all you have to do is drive through the course without hitting anything.  
  
Heero: Mission Accepted  
  
Instructer: o_O, ok, let's get started!  
  
::the two enter the car, Heero in the driver's side, duh.::  
  
Instructer: Now, before you- Heero, what are you doing?  
  
Heero: Where are the missle launchers in here?  
  
Instructer: It doesn't have any, this is a car-  
  
Heero: Nani? What kind of mobile suit it this?  
  
Instructer: This is not a mobile suit, it's an automobile.  
  
Heero: ::stares at the teacher blankly:: Oh, where is the self detonation switch?  
  
Instructer: There is none! It's a car, you're not going to get cornored by an enemy!  
  
Heero: You can never be too sure.  
  
Instructer: DRIVE!  
  
::Heero turns the engine on and starts driving down the straight road.::  
  
Instructer: Just keep driving and I will tell you when to turn- ACK!  
  
::Heero turns left and off the road::  
  
Instructer: @_@ I said that I would tell you WHEN to turn!  
  
Heero: All I heard was "turn".  
  
Instructer: ::eractically:: Put... the... car... in.... reverse... NOW!!  
  
Heero: Roger.  
  
Instructer: MY NAME ISN'T ROGER!  
  
Heero: ::pulls his gun out and points it at the Instructer:: Yell at me again and I will kill you.  
  
Instructer: O_o Sorry.  
  
Heero: Fine then. ::puts his gun back in spandex space and keeps driving::  
  
Instructer: At this road up here, you will want to turn then!  
  
::Heero turns onto the other road and stops suddenly::  
  
Instructer: What's wrong?  
  
Heero: On second. ::hops out of the car with his handgun in hand and shoots something in the tree:: ::a soldier falls out of the tree with a thud::  
  
Instructer: Wha-?  
  
Heero: An OZ soldier, he was spying on me, I had to shoot him. ::gets back in and continues driving::   
  
Instructer: This is where Quatre had some problems-  
  
Heero: I am a more capable pilot than Quatre, he's too tenderhearted to pilot a car.  
  
Instructer: Riiiiiight, just turn here and watch out for the wall.  
  
*BASH*  
  
Heero: Shimatta, I failed. ::hops out of the car:: I failed the mission, I COMPLETLY FAILED IT!!   
  
Instructer: It's okay Heero, just get back in and try again.  
  
Heero: ::turns to the Instructer:: Omae o Koruso Mr Driving Instructer. ::runs away to the wall of the course and hops over it::  
  
Instructer: This is going to be a long day...  
  
  
Sailor Christmas: I know, that probably wasn't as hilarious as I thought it was, but... R&R or Omae o Koruso (that's my new saying, I can't wait to use it on my English teacher, muwahaha) I got the idea in Wal-mart, odd ne? ^_^  
Duo: Uhh, when do I get to drive?  
SC: Wait your turn my dear Shinigami. ::grabs his arm and takes him to another room:: Ja ne!  



	2. Wufei and Duo's drive

Driving School  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, ::floods of tears:: WAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! But I DO own are.... MY UNDERWEAR!!! ^_^  
  
I think that mobile suit pilots should be able to drive... am I right? ::crickets:: oh...  
  
BTW: **I AM NOT MAKING FUN OF ANYONE OF THE BELOVED CHARACTERS OF GW! I AM ONLY EXAGERATING THEIR CHARACTERISTICS!!!!**  
  
  
Instructer: Wufei?  
  
Wufei: ::stands up with his arms crossed:: I am ready master.  
  
Instructer: K... ::the two walk outside::  
  
Instructer: Now, all you have to is drive through the course, simple as pie.  
  
Wufei: My only mission is to drive? ::instructer nods:: Then I shall complete my mission, drive I shall.  
  
Instructer: Get in the car  
  
Wufei: I accept your offer, but I would prefer to pilot Nataku.  
  
Instructer: You have to drive the car to pass.  
  
Wufei: ::sighs:: If it helps my mission. (instructer: -_-") ::Wufei gets in the car and starts it up:: ::they drive down the road and get to the turn that Heero shot a soldier at::  
  
Instructer: I assure you that there are no OZ soldiers in the tree like the one Heero shot-  
  
Wufei: I spit on OZ's grave, I am a far better warrior than Heero, he only knows fire arms, there are more ways to kill a man.  
  
Instructer: O_O" Uh.. well, just turn here a-and keep driving!!  
  
Wufei: Who am I supposed to kill?  
  
Instructer: Kill?  
  
Wufei: Yes, you said that it was a mission, aren't I supposed to kill someone?  
  
Instructer: ::is on the breaking point:: No, just drive to the end of the course and that will be the end!  
  
Wufei: Sir, your words do not anger me... they only intrige me. ::they continue to drive and reach the end with much argueing::  
  
Instructer: I'm sorry Wufei, but you didn't pass.  
  
Wufei: (here we go, the word you've been waiting for) INJUSTICE!!! I DID NOT FAIL THIS MISSION YOU WEAK ONNA!!  
  
Instructer: O_O No need to yell, you can take the test again-  
  
Wufei: I will not loose my face to try a mission over! That is dishonor! DISHONOR TO YOUR FAMILY!! ::he leaps out of the car and runs to a grove of trees, a few seconds later Nataku stands up and starts demolishing the DMV place:: I will bring Justice to myself and the others who have failed this mission, I am barely worthy to pilot Nataku now, why me?  
  
Duo: YO WU-MAN! Chill! It's just a test.  
  
Wufei: Duo, you do not understand my pain. Please leave, I am doing the right thing.  
  
Duo: What?  
  
Wufei: I said, I AM DOING THE RIGHT THING! [1] ::turns Shen-long's boosters on and flies away::  
  
Duo: Great.... MY TURN!! ^_^ ::hops into the car where a obviously very shoken driving instructer is sitting:: Hey there bud, I'm ready to drive.  
  
Instructer: Are you insane like Wufei and Heero?  
  
Duo: Me? I'm probably the LEAST insane! ::guns the engine:: VROOM VROOM! Let's drive! ::they drive up to that turn with the dead soldier now being eaten by a few stray dogs [2]:: EW! Geez Heero, he could at least clean up his mess. You know, he's always yelling at me about keeping our apartment dirty, but he just kills soldiers left and right and doesn't even make an attempt to move them aside, I mean I'm just tripping over 'em and I've gotta watch where I'm goin. Maybe some bases shouldn't have so many soldiers, I mean, some of them are really tiny, they would only need like ten guys but I've seen some of them with about 100! Where do they keep all of them is what I wonder sometimes at night when I'm lying in bed with Heero. He's so sweet when we- uh, maybe you shouldn't know about that, I mean it's not like you guys ask about our sexual orientation, right? But I don't care 'cuz I love Heero!  
  
Instructer: @_@ Uh... O_O ACK! TURN!  
  
Duo: What? AAH! *SCREECH* *CRASH* Uh oh...  
  
Instructer: ::finally snaps:: You Gundam pilots are such idiots! Quatre kept apologizing over everything! Heero actually got out and shot a man then he had the nerve to threaten me with a gun then run away! Wufei tried to demolish the place and now won't shut your mouth! I can't belive that ANYONE can talk that much in one breath! Don't you even take time to swallow your spit or is your mouth to try from keeping it open all the time!?! -_-" I don't want to do this anymore ::cries::  
  
Duo: Uh... sorry, but I just ramble sometimes, um... are you okay Mr Driving Instructer? ::reaches out to touch him but quickly recoils back:: Look, i-it's okay, I can do without a liscence, I-I'll just get out right now if you like.  
  
Instructer: ::sob:: no ::sniff:: stay ::hiccup:: it's people like you, people who want to drive, that make up my paycheck ::sniff:: ::wipes his eyes:: Just back up a little bit and straighten out the car.  
  
Duo: Yes sir. ::follows his instructions with not so much ease:: ::finishes the test in silence::  
  
Instructer: Okay, here is your paper for your liscence. Go, get out of my life!  
  
Duo: Domo arigatou Mr Driving Instructer, Ja ne! ^_^ ::waves and gets out of the car:: WAAAHOOOOO!! ::runs inside::  
  
::Trowa is sitting on a chair next to Quatre reading a magazine::  
  
Duo: Trowa, it's your turn! ::Trowa ///_O:: MUWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
  
Me: Will Trowa survive? What will happen in the next episode of "Driving School"?  
Duo: I GOT IT!! WHOO!!  
  
Footnote:  
[1] Yea, that was sorta from Endless Waltz, but I changed the words a tad to make it fit  
[2] Eew, I know gross, but that's just what pops out of my brain! ^_^ (Quatre: A lot of scary pops out of that! Me: Aaww, Quatre-kun you so sweet! ::huggies::)  
  
R&R Pwetty pwease with sugah on top! 


	3. 

Recap!: When we last left our dashing pilots, Duo and Quatre were the only ones who got driver's licenses. Wufei got in Nataku and left, Heero shot a soilder then ran away. Now for Trowa's turn... MUWAHAHAHA *cough cough* ackem!  
  
  
::Trowa sets his magazine down silently and stands up:: Alright, I'll give it a shot.  
  
Duo: That's the spirit good buddy!  
  
Trowa: ............  
  
Duo: Darn, he's not speaking again.  
  
Trowa: Yes I am speaking, but not to you.  
  
Duo: You have got ::in high pitched voice:: AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM!!! ::whaps him on the arm::  
  
Trowa: ///_- Go away.  
  
Duo: K, good luck. ::walks away to search for Heero::  
  
Mr. Instructer: Okay Mr... um, you didn't fill that part out.  
  
Trowa: I don't have a name if you must call me something call me Trowa. *thinks: I'm sick of saying that.*  
  
Mr. I: Ok, Trowa. Let's drive!  
  
T: Okay. ::the two get in the car and Trowa starts the engine:: I don't want to do this.  
  
Mr. I: It's okay to be nervous, just breathe and-  
  
T: I'm not nervous, I just don't find a point in all of this. Why do we need driver's licenses if we pilot Gundams and other mobile suits. No one drives cars anymore, there's no point in polluting the earth, I'm trying to protect it.  
  
Mr. I: Well, you were assigned by Lady Une to take this test.  
  
T: Lady Une is a messed up old hag.   
  
::Lady Une appears out of no where with a gun to Trowa's head:: What did you say Lion Boy?  
  
T: Um, nothing.  
  
Lady Une: That's what I thought, boy.  
  
::Trowa turns the car off and gets out:: Goodbye, I don't feel the need to take this test.  
  
Mr. I: Trowa! Wait!  
  
::Trowa turns around in shock of the man's tone::  
  
Mr. I: Trowa please, I love you!  
  
Trowa: O_O ::eyes bulge out so much they go through his hair:: Nani?!?  
  
Mr. I: Uh... ::major sweatdrop:: nothing, go ahead and leave.  
  
::Trowa first backs away slowly then spins around and runs to where Quatre, Heero, Duo, and a very disgruntle Wufei are standing::  
  
Quatre: Trowa? What's wrong?  
  
Trowa: That man... he's... insane! ::runs to Quatre and holds him::  
  
Duo: I'm hungry, let's get some lunch!  
  
Heero: Actually Duo, it's about supper time now.  
  
Duo: Oh... well then a romantic dinner for two! ::holds Heero as love bubbles surround them::  
  
Wufei: .........  
  
Quatre: Sounds nice, make that a dinner for four!  
  
Duo: Um...  
  
Wufei: Yea, make it six, I'll get Sally to come too! ::Sally appears next to Wufei and hugs him::  
  
Duo: Wait a sec...  
  
Sally: This will be great, Duo it's so nice of you to invite all of us!  
  
Duo: I didn't invite anyone else!  
  
Trowa: Stop being modest, Duo.  
  
Duo: I'm not! I WANNA BE ALONE WITH HEEROOOOOO!!  
  
Heero: Chill out, Duo. They can get their own tables.  
  
Duo: Oh yea. ::squeezes Heero:: yay! ^_^  
  
::The Gundam pilots and Sally (haha, Sally's singled out!) head off to a waiting plane and board it. Trowa turns around and stares at the sunset pulling Quatre closer to him for a little bit. Duo shoves Heero into a seat in the back and slides in close to him practically jumping on the silent soilder. Wufei lets Sally sit first then sits down in his respected seat next to her (romantic huh? -_-)::  
  
  
  
Gomen ne, I got too lazy and ran out of funny ideas to happen to Trowa so I decided to make a kawaii 2x1 3x4 5xS ending. ^-^ 


End file.
